Other Resources
A hallmark of emotional intelligence is being able to identify emotions in order to make sense of what we are feeling. Studies indicate those with a greater vocabulary for labeling a specific emotion may have better self-regulation and decision-making, especially in situations where they feel vulnerable or hurt. Researchers found that simply associating “positive” or “negative” emotions without trying to change them can help improve communication and relational awareness. Three visual resources that support this skill and label the spectrum of emotions include Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions, Gloria Willcox's The Feeling Wheel, and Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart.
Personality systems, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and the Enneagram, can be useful in exploring differences among people. While not considered scientific assessments, they are helpful in looking for generalized tendencies. We believe such tools can encourage introspection, allow individuals to learn about their own perceived preferences, identify sources of motivation and fear, and recognize how a person would respond in different situations. We recommend using these tests as a simple way to understand each other and the perspectives that shape us, rather than using them as a stringent relationship framework.
Here are other notable people and communities that we recommend in the fields of EQ and interpersonal relationships:
Scientist, professor, and author of “How Emotions Are Made” with prestigious research in psychology, neuroscience, and the study of emotions.
Harvard Medical School psychologist and author of "Emotional Agility.” She focuses on the concept of managing and accepting emotions in the most healthy and productive manner.
Influential psychologist and author. She has done a lot of work studying the emotions behind anger and what is needed for an effective apology.
Stanford psychologist and author of "Mindset." Her research showcases the concept of a growth mindset and how it is essential in all things that we do. We believe it is one of the overlooked values and traits necessary for sustainable, long-term relationships.
Psychologist and author of "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.” She specializes in therapy and coaching with adults to recognize and deal with intergenerational trauma.
Professor at Yale. Host of “The Happiness Lab” podcast and creator of “The Science of Well-Being” free course. Laurie is all about science-based techniques and tools to promote happiness.
Therapist, podcast host, and founder of The Secure Relationship (@thesecurerelationship on Instagram). Author of “Secure Love.” With expertise in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), she provides articulate drawings and explanations on how to move toward a more secure relationship.
Therapist, podcast host, and author of “Boundary Boss.” She advocates for personal empowerment, creating boundaries, and successfully dealing with codependency.
Marriage and family therapist, podcast host, and author of “The Origins of You." She uses an integrative approach to help others address their patterns and make changes in their relationships.
Clinical psychologist, couples therapist, podcast host, and author. Her expertise is recognizing old relationship cycles and finding joy in creating new ones.
Licensed marriage and family therapist certified in the Gottman Method. Co-founder of Ours, a relationship wellness company. Author of “I Want This to Work” and “‘Til Stress Do Us Part.” Her mission is to help couples work more as a team.
Therapist, podcast host, and author with valuable insight on how to identify and set healthy boundaries in relationships, especially among family.
Psychologist, podcast host, and author of “Break the Cycle.” She is an expert on healing family trauma and how to effectively break the generational cycle.
Psychotherapist, podcast host, and co-founder of the Trauma Institute with Dr. Frank Anderson. He specializes in teaching how to heal trauma and have meaningful relationships.
Educator and researcher focusing on the science of sexual health, emotional intimacy, and physical desire.
Professor and psychologist specializing in the study of self-compassion, resiliency, and their effects on improving one’s emotional and physical health.
Coach, podcast host, author, and founder of The Relationship School. Through social media platforms, he provides practical tools for individuals, families, and couples. One of his main goals is to help people better understand each other.
Organization created by Genny Rumancik, who is a passionate coach and teacher. She offers courses to help improve one’s EQ. Her Instagram has wonderful concepts and materials for fostering relational skills.
These are additional book recommendations on relationships, personal growth and development, and communication:
The New Psychology of Love by Robert J. Sternberg and Karin Sternberg
The Lost Art of Listening by Michael P. Nichols and Martha B. Straus
Studies suggest that both mindfulness and meditation may help people manage stress and boost levels of self-esteem. We believe such techniques and tools can help enhance relationships in all aspects. Improved emotional regulation would allow partners to show more gratitude for one another. With a lower stress response, frequent conflict cycles may also be reduced and thus encouraging less hostile communication. Our go-to resources in this space include Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ronald D. Siegel, Rick Hanson, Tara Brach, Daniel J. Siegel, Richard J. Davidson, and Yung Pueblo (Diego Perez).
As proponents of psychotherapy, there are other modalities that we have not yet mentioned. We find such methods may be helpful: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT), Narrative Therapy, Collaborative Couple Therapy (CCT), Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT developed by Leslie S. Greenberg). Alternatively, there are therapeutic approaches that include expressive art and play. These practices can be beneficial and integrative, which include writing and journaling, visual arts, music and singing, interpretive dance, etc.
A concept that we find useful for cultivating emotional health and enabling one to thrive is Martin E.P. Seligman’s Positive Psychology and PERMA Model. What we like about this model is that there is an emphasis on relationships being fundamental and paramount to well-being. The ability to fluorish is increased by having genuine, meaningful connections where each person feels like they're being supported, valued, understood, and loved. Being able to respond with gratitude and kindness in our close relationships can amplify feelings of happiness, joy, and satisfaction. While geared more toward working professionals, PositivePsychology.com is a science-based resource that offers free content and written articles on this idea.
